ARIES: Your lucky feeling this month will be familiar
TAURUS: Get a puppy…. Get two… Sensible move….
GEMINI: Something will strike your fancy this month…..Repeatedly.
CANCER: Your lucky thing this month will be drunk and suggestive.
LEO: Have you ever noticed that dead fish fall up?
VIRGO: Your funny smells are not funny at all.
LIBRA: Your unlucky orifice this month will be the plughole.
SCORPIO: You’ll be gagging for it.
SAGITARIUS: This month try opening walnuts with your genitals… Tell us how you go.
CAPRICORN: Very soon you’ll be as happy as a clam
AQUARIUS: Wilma the road safety vulva says “look twice”.
PISCES: Everyone’s perving on you this month….Nice….